Powerful Discussions Powerful Thinking

I recently wrote this article for publication. I figured I'd post it here, as well.

We live in incredible times. The knowledge bases of science and technology double every two years. Consequently, many of our children’s future job possibilities have not even been invented yet. We can’t help them develop the knowledge and skills they’ll need to do these jobs. For, we don’t yet know what they’ll need to know. But we can help them develop the skills they’ll need to learn independently.

When we engage in powerful discussion with our children we help them learn how to learn. This article identifies three things we might do to promote powerful discussion. First, we should ask thought provoking questions. Second, we need to listen in such a way that our children recognize that they are being both listened to and respected. Third, we must display the patience to help them formulate their own questions and seek their own answers.

A thought provoking question can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” It requires explanation and logical support. Rather than asking if the character in a novel behaved in an appropriate way, ask why the character in the novel behaved as he/she did. Questions that begin with “why,” “how,” and “what do you think,” typically require more than short answers.

It’s not enough to ask thought provoking questions. We must also encourage our children to think about the meaning of questions and the way that they want to answer them. After asking a question, wait a few seconds, or even a minute, for answers. “Wait time” can be scary because during a conversation, silence is awkward. But, a few seconds of silence can dramatically improve the quality of one’s thought.

So, what do you do when your children are thinking? It’s vitally important to show them that you care about what they have to say. But, you don’t have to verbally communicate this. Simply smile and wait patiently. Sit back and relax. As your child begins to answer the question nod occasionally, ask clarifying questions, and continue to smile. At times you can simply repeat back what your child said and ask if you understood him/her correctly. Help your child feel the calm of the moment instead of pressure. As your child feels encouraged and supported he/she will continue to talk and develop their ideas. Who doesn’t like being listened to and respected?

In addition to challenging our children, we should encourage them to challenge themselves. Invite them to ask their own questions. If you’re reading a novel or a newspaper article with your child encourage them to ask relevant questions that can’t be answered by the text. Then, encourage them to find the answers. You might also suggest that your children ask a question about anything that they want to know about. Work with them to investigate and find the answers.

To succeed as adults, our children will require the skills of independent learners. Through powerful discussion, we can help them develop skills to think powerfully and consequently develop new knowledge and skills.